Me: "We are having a supper for six at our house next Thursday and we would like you and your wife to be our guests."
My friend: "Thanks. A supper for what?"
Me: "A supper for six. It is just a name we made up. On the last Thursday of every month, we have some friends over for dinner and some purposeful conversation."
My friend: "Sounds nice. Purposeful conversation?"
Me: "Yeah. You know, something besides the weather or sports. We try and talk about something going on in our culture. Could be a current event. Could be pop-culture. Could be religion. Anything that will spark a good conversation."
My friend: "Ok. Sounds dangerous (laughing), but we accept."
Ok. This conversation has not happened ... yet. But it will.
Here is the idea. Show biblical hospitality to the non-Christian friends in your sphere of influence by having them over for a meal. Invite them and another couple (or some singles) from church. Keep the dinner party fairly small and cozy (six or seven). Use the time to be intentional about getting the group into a worldview conversation.
What do I mean by worldview? When I use the term worldview, I am referring to one's basic beliefs about reality. These would be things we believe to be true about God, humanity, the cosmos, why we are here and what is right and wrong. This web of beliefs shapes how we think, the decisions we make, the things we value most, and the way we live.
What do I mean by a worldview conversation?
I mean a conversation designed to reveal and discuss basic beliefs.
One, it should be about a topic with some substance. Chit chat about the weather and sports has its place, but don't let it keep you from eventually steering the conversation into deeper waters. Bring up a moral issue in our culture. Talk about religion. Parenting. Success. Education. A movie that has a moral theme (either good or bad). Music. A popular book. Pop culture. A current event. Talk about something that will cause people to use their worldview. As you get into the discussion, ask "why" questions like "why do you think ..." or "how did you draw that conclusion...". The goal is to get around to talking about beliefs, why we hold them, and why we think our beliefs are true.
Sometimes, it is fun to just be direct. One of my favorite questions is, what is truth? Some of my most memorable conversations have come as a result of me asking that one question. I even asked that to two of my children's friends over dinner once. We got into a great discussion. They still talk about that. Another direct question is, what is success? Or, how do you we know what is real?
Two, you should be intentional about not using religious language or cliches. Find a way to share your ideas without using evangelical buzzwords. Unfortunately, religious sounding words come with a lot of attached baggage in our culture and have become barriers to communication. Work at sharing your ideas in a way in which they will be heard. For those of us who have spent a lot of time in Christian circles, this is very tough to do.
Three, actually have a conversation. In other words, be a good listener. Don't spend your time thinking of what you are going to say -- you will miss what others are saying. Work hard at asking good Columbo questions.
Four, make it your goal to drop a pebble in the shoe. Share a pebble of truth (perhaps in the form of a question) that your friend can walk away and think about. The Holy Spirit can use those pebbles of truth to affect thinking -- long after the conversation is over.
I remain convinced that that for most of us, the most effective way to engage culture is one conversation at a time with those whom God has placed in our spheres. In other words, do what bloggers are generally good at -- opening up good threads of discussion.
The problem is, we lead such busy lives that we don't have time to do it. The solution is to be intentional about it. If we commit to, on a regular basis, combine hospitality with conversation with our non-Christian friends, I am convinced we can have a impact on our culture. One conversation at a time.
I am going to make it a goal to have a supper for six on a regular basis at our house. I hope you do too.
Thanks for the prod. I agree that the combination of hospitality and purposeful conversation is a powerful means of reaching unbelievers. If you haven't already, you may be interested in checking out a ministry at Xenos Christian Fellowship called Conversation and Cuisine.
Posted by: Keith | October 19, 2005 at 07:29
Conversation and Cuisine looks like a terrific ministry. Read Bringing About Change Through Small Groups for an example of how one family has their own kind of "conversation and cuisine". Search for pigfest.
Posted by: Dawn Treader | October 19, 2005 at 08:30
"Sounds Dangerous." It just might be.
*Laugh*
Hmm, I do something like this on Saturday nights. Only for my highschool girlfriends, and we watch a moive. I try to watch it before, and maybe read Plugged-in's review up it. The girls like to talk about the moive afterward, and well, it's a fantasic time to bring up worldveiws. :D Good Times.
-Molly
Posted by: Molly | October 19, 2005 at 09:55
I like this kind of thing. The only thing I get concerned about is whether it's somewhat artificial. Are we really interested in getting know these people we're inviting, or are they more like "targets" of our evangelism? Do we really want to engage in conversation, where there is learning as well as teaching, or are we mostly looking for opportunities to impart our superior knowledge on our guests? I want to participate in relational evangelism that's really relational, where I'm joining with friends in their humanness and sharing the hope that is in Christ.
Posted by: dopderbeck | October 19, 2005 at 10:15
Re:"I want to participate in relational evangelism that's really relational, where I'm joining with friends in their humanness and sharing the hope that is in Christ."
Me too :-) What I find is that most Christians make one of two mistakes. One, they come on too strong and try to convert their friends. Two, they come on too weak and never get beyond talking about lawn care, the price of gas, or who won last night's game. How can we avoid both mistakes?
My suggestion is that we be authentic and open with our friends and talk to them about real issues. We have to share the way we think or they will never know how a Christian looks at life and the difference an authentic relationship with Christ makes. The context for this is a friendship. The approach is through hospitality.
The problem with simply sharing hope is that many of my secular friends already have hope. Their hope is in their money and the "fun units" it will purchase. When I tell them that I have hope in Christ, they think, "How nice for you. But no thanks, I already have hope. My only problem is getting more money so that I can have even more hope."
Until we can have a substantive talk about life ... real life ... and truth ... they simply have no reason to take Christ's message of the coming of his kingdom seriously.
Now, don't think I am suggesting the full extent of our relationship is meals and conversations. We have a full orbed relationship that includes rolling up our sleeves and investing in their lives ... iow, being incarnational. Sorry if I left the impression that I am all about evangelistic raids with my secular friends.
Posted by: Dawn Treader | October 19, 2005 at 11:11
Re: "Only for my highschool girlfriends, and we watch a moive. I try to watch it before, and maybe read Plugged-in's review up it. The girls like to talk about the moive afterward, and well, it's a fantasic time to bring up worldveiws."
Awesome. What an apologist you are turning into! Note to self: interview Molly after her next movie night with her friends. Post the interview on the Dawn Treader so the rest of us can learn.
Posted by: Dawn Treader | October 19, 2005 at 11:14
iow, being incarnational
"Incarnational" -- now you're talking my language!
The problem with simply sharing hope is that many of my secular friends already have hope. Their hope is in their money and the "fun units" it will purchase.
Really though? Part of this I think is living the distinction between Hope (big "H") and idols.
Until we can have a substantive talk about life ... real life ... and truth ... they simply have no reason to take Christ's message of the coming of his kingdom seriously.
Agreed.
Posted by: dopderbeck | October 19, 2005 at 12:05
A fascinating idea. Do let us know how it goes.
For some reason, this calls to mind an incident of a summer two years ago. My sister-in-law and her children were visiting with us. I was in the back yard, weeding the horseshoe pits. A couple of well-dressed strangers approached the house (cue ominous music). They were, of course, Jehovah's Witnesses. My sister-in-law walked toward them, met them, and stood talking to them for a few moments as I occasionally glanced their way with mild interest. They soon left, and SIL came up to me, beaming with pride.
"I just saved you from a couple of JWs!" she said.
"No, Sis" I responded, "You just saved them from me!"
Posted by: Rob Ryan | October 19, 2005 at 15:31
Do let us know how it goes.
I will. Good worldview conversations always make good blog posts.
"No, Sis" I responded, "You just saved them from me!"
LOL.
I bet we would have a good conversation over dinner.
Posted by: Dawn Treader | October 19, 2005 at 15:52