"The fact is that we reproduce what we are. The best materials, processes, or presentations have little efficacy if they are not representative of a life that speaks with consistency. Life transformation is not really accomplished through the transference of information. It occurs in the proximity of authentic relationships."
~Sam Metcalf, Under The Iceberg
Ever hear the saying, "do as I say, not as I do"? Doesn't work, does it? Nor should it.
The Apostle Paul understood this:
"What you have learned and received and heard and seen in me—practice these things, and the God of peace will be with you."
~Apostle Paul, Phillipians 4
There cannot be a disconnect between one's words and one's life. Real influence happens where there is integrity and congruence between a life and a message. I am convinced that the greatest influence happens in the context of authentic relationships where one's life can be seen up close and in such a way that it validates the message. That is what makes mentoring the most powerful form of influence.
Sam Metcalf wrote an interesting post on the Power of Modeling. He noted the power of modeling. He raised two tensions about modeling. One, leaders have weaknesses too. How can leaders ask others to imitate them when they are not perfect? Two, modeling can disguise spiritual pride. Depending on the heart condition of the leader, attempts to model may not necessarily be a good thing.
As far as weakness goes. I want to follow a leader who knows his weakness and his need for Christ and the gospel. I am far more concerned about leaders who feel they don't have a weakness. What I look for (and hope to possess) is humility to admit weaknesses and the need for the gospel. I look for someone who boasts in the cross of Christ and is honest before God about his own great need (2 Cor 11:30; 2 Cor 12:9) So weakness should not be the reason to avoid modeling. The follower will try to imitate the strengths of the leader and recognize that the leader is not perfect.
As far as pride goes, I think Sam is correct when he writes,
It can be an ego trip camouflaged by a spiritual veneer. Modeling becomes unhealthy when it is subverted to be more about me getting strokes and being the center of attention verses having the focus on those I am called to serve and the One for whose presence I am but a conduit.
I think humility is the key to overcome this. I think as we imitate and follow Christ, we ought never lose sight of the humility of Christ (Phil 2:8). One can be intentional about modeling, but do it in a humble, Christ-honoring way. No need to blow trumpets or beat drums and say "imitate me"! The leader should model confession, repentance and reliance on the daily work of Christ in his own heart. Others will see this and follow.
The leaders who have impacted me are the humble ones who have lived open lives in front of me as they followed Christ. They didn't have to say "imitate me." I wanted to imitate them.
I am kind of surprised no one has commented on this post! Mr Metcalf's remarks should cause every sibling, parent,and teacher out there to pause and think about their week. His words were a great springboard to James 3 for me.
Friday completed my first week of my nineth year of teaching. Since my early 20s, I have daily stood in front of rooms filled with 7th and 8th graders. My first class of 8th graders are now college grads. While I doubt that many of them remember how to conjugate the verb "give" in pluperfect passive, how to refute the dilemma, or that Ramses ruled during the New Kingdom in Egypt - I pray that in some way during the time we learned together, they saw God's love and majesty - despite my sin and incredible shortcomings.
This is also my prayer for the 46 "Nerds" He in His Providence has placed eargerly in my class room this school year, the remaining 230+ students who see me in the halls, cafetorium, etc..., and the 100s of young people He brings into my life outside the building of FCS. Mr Metcalf is "dead on" about learning necessitating an authentic relationship. Praise God True learning is not necessitated by me.(None of it is really about me at all!) However,that it is ultimately the learner's relationship with the Father - not with the modeler that matters.
As their teacher, my life should be a witness - but - more importantly I should intentionally and consistently point them to the real Source of Truth.
Posted by: Ms Fu | September 03, 2007 at 08:49
"However,that it is ultimately the learner's relationship with the Father - not with the modeler that matters.
As their teacher, my life should be a witness - but - more importantly I should intentionally and consistently point them to the real Source of Truth."
That is rich. I love it.
Posted by: Mr. Dawntreader | September 03, 2007 at 09:51